Resident Evil: Major Insanity
by ShadowBrawler2000
Summary: The Heroes of Resident Evil are ordered one way or another to get to japan and stop the strange occurences happening there. Can they discover and defeat the threat. Parody Fic. Rated T for language and some VERY random things. Chap. 3 updated.
1. Chapter 1: Insanity, Start Thy Engines

_Me: " Welcome all. To major insanity._

_Wesker: " Uh, my head. Where am I?"_

_Me: I see your awake. I've brought you here for my own enjoyment."_

_Wesker: " What sort of sick, twisted little cretin are you?"_

_Me: - Hits Wesker with mallet- The kind that doesn't take crap from people like you. Now on with the insanity._

_Disclaimer: Resident Evil & Newgrounds belongs to who they belong to._

Chapter 1: Insanity, Start Thy Engines

On a regular sunny morning in the Midwestern town of Raccoon City, everything was as peaceful as could be. In the Raccoon Police Department, the regular officers of the city were engaged in normal day to day activities. On the second floor however, there was a major meeting taking place in the office of the renowned counter-terrorist unit, S.T.A.R.S.

" Now, I said this a thousand times already. We are getting two pizzas with pepperoni and extra cheese, and two with olives and mushrooms." Wesker said

" And I say we should get two with meatballs, and two with green peppers and onions." Chris retorted

" I don't like onions!" Wesker said, throwing his chair out the window, hitting a random hobo below.

" How about we just get one of each to satisfy all of our desires." Brad interjected, glad the chair hadn't been thrown at him this time.

" You know, that's actually not a bad idea." Wesker said, calming down, when the phone at his desk started ringing. He repositioned his glasses, and picked up the phone.

" S.T.A.R.S office, what is it?" Wesker asked.

" Wesker, I want the S.T.A.R.S. teams to gear up immediately. There are strange incidents happening in Japan, and they're asking everyone possible to assist them in their struggle. You're to leave in three hours. Now hurry up or your all fired!" Chief Irons said, then returned to to his hourly air guitar session while listening to Metallica.

" Alright everyone, you heard him, get ready." Wesker said, and for the next two hours and fifty minutes, Chaos ensued. Chris and Joseph were raiding the lockers of some of the rookie officers, searching for any items including porn magazines and wallets. Jill stayed in the office, trying to listen to the radio over the racket caused by the other members.

" Hey Forest, did you manage to get that movie?" Kenneth asked.

" Yeah, Right here. It's called Resident Evil." ( The Live-Action RE)

" Alright, put it in." Rebecca said. About half an hour into the movie, they were at the part where the zombies were attacking Alice, Matt and the soldiers.

" Man, the action is cool, but this movie is so damn fake. Zombies created by the Umbrella Corporation? That's retarded." Kenneth said.

" That Alice chick is quite a fox though." Forest said. Meanwhile, Enrico was looking through the case file of his most worthy adversary. Billy Coen. After an incident several months ago involving a large keg of alcohol and a male stripper, which being told by his co-workers that had been done by one of the guests, Billy Coen. Enrico agreed since the only images he remembered were of Billy Coen, though to date they hadn't caught the man, but knew he hadn't left the city. What the other S.T.A.R.S hadn't told him was that he'd walked in on a girl's bachelorette party, and got caught up in their activities, too drunk to comprehend the events of that night. It turns out that Billy had been at the bar, but left shortly before the bravo team captain stumbled upon the girls party.

" That bastard's going down. Those strange events going on in Japan must be because of him." Enrico said. Kevin Dooley and Edward Dewey, after watching the resident evil movie in the surveillance room, had taken to stealing things from the evidence lockers, looting various weapons, cash and jewelery they could sell discreetly as they traveled. In the mess hall, Barry was talking with Marvin Branagh about the different sandwiches he'd eaten lately, and ones he'd like to try at some point.

" A couple weeks ago I tried a ham and liverwurst sandwich with hot sauce and a dash of cinnamon on rye. It tasted okay at first, but then it started getting really hard to breath. When I woke up in the hospital, I knew I needed to try that again some time." Barry said.

" Sorry Barry, I gotta go. Some hobo just busted another window. Gotta use deadly force on him again." Marvin said, grabbing his police tonfa, walking outside towards the area where the hobo had been. Once it had been close to three hours, everyone had returned to the S.T.A.R.S office, carrying several bags filled with various items.

" Alright, where's Vickers?" Wesker asked.

" Here. Sir." Brad said, wheezing as he lugged a heavy box of equipment from the station basement to the second floor S.T.A.R.S. office.

" What in gods name is all that?" Wesker asked.

" Well, take a look." Brad said, collapsing next to the crate.

" Fine." Wesker said. He opened the box, and saw several cases, one for each member. Wesker's case contained a bottle of industrial strength Hair gel, a spare pair of glasses, and a strange vial of clear liquid, which Wesker hid from view. Enrico's case contained a round emblem with the S.T.A.R.S. Logo on it, a box of custom handgun ammo, and a Billy Coen tracker 3000. Chris' case contained a logo with the picture of the world and B.S.A.A. North American Branch on it, a Beretta 92FS handgun with a LAM on the frame, a MercWorx Goliath combat knife, and a second case containing a dis-assembled M24 Sniper Rifle. Forest's case contained a Bandolier of 40mm grenades for his ARWEN 37, a Switchblade comb, and like Chris, a second Case with a dis-assembled M24 Sniper. Jill's case contained a bottle of Blonde hair dye, a tube top, a skirt, a white sweater, and an H&K MP5A3 Machine gun. Rebecca's case contained a handgun scope, a can of bug spray, and a 5 by 8 photo of Billy Coen, which she quickly hid from her teammates. Richard's case had a video copy of JAWS, a pair of sunglasses, and a small laptop. Barry's case had a small hand held book of snappy lines and catchphrases, a ham, cheese and turkey sandwich with extra mayo, and a copy of the latest issue of Guns & Ammo. Edward's, Brad's and Kevin's cases had a Vehicle repair for Dumbasses book, and a package of Slim Jim's. Brad's case also contained a self help book. Joseph's case contained a PSP with 20 games, a bandolier of 12 gauge shotgun shells, and a GPS device. Kenneth's case had a 12 pack of Pepsi, a skeleton key, and a sawn-off double barrel shotgun.

" What are these?" Wesker said. He grabbed the top of the crate, and read a sticker on the box.

" Just some presents to the Men and Women of the RPD S.T.A.R.S. Signed, Shadowbrawler2000. Either this person is a supporter of the police department, or a sick, crazy bastard." Wesker said. A brick suddenly came through the window, connecting with Wesker's face. The others looked out the window, and saw a hobo next to a large pile of bricks and a large slingshot, a hat hiding his face from view, seeing Marvin Branagh unconscious with blood pooling from a wound to his head, seeing a brick with a corner covered in blood.

" Check it out, Marvin's unconscious. Lets laugh at him." Chris said. After spending a straight minute laughing at the unlucky officer, they proceeded to the basement parking garage, seeing several vehicle, both service vehicles and impounded vehicles taken from crimes. They saw near the entrance, two triple-decker buses, seeing the S.T.A.R.S logo as well as Alpha on one and Bravo on the other.

" Bravo, we're going to take these buses through the US to the sea barge at the docks in Los Angeles, California. From there, the barge will take us to Guadalcanal, and from there a second barge will take us to Japan. We're to, from there, assist all other forces assembled to combat whatever's attacking Japan. When we succeed, everyone who participates in the effort will get a free copy of a PS3 game of your choice." Wesker said, holding a bag of ice where he'd been hit by the brick.

" Oooorrah!" The officers called out, getting onto their respective buses. Wesker walked onto the Alpha bus, seeing Brad at the wheel.

" Vickers, I want to make it there in one piece, I'm driving." Wesker said, throwing Brad from the seat into the seat across from Jill and Chris, who were both playing gameboys. As the alpha team bus sped away. The Bravo bus was close behind. Inside, Enrico had called everyone to the front of the bus.

" I've been hearing some funny noises and I suspect that Billy Coen is hiding somewhere on this bus. Rebecca, I want you to go check it out. Kenneth and Forest will wait by the staircase on the bottom floor. Move." Enrico said, sitting in the seat behind Kevin, who was driving the bus. Rebecca walked up the stairs onto the second floor, keeping her handgun out. She checked each seat, making sure she didn't fall whenever the bus hit a pot hole or bump. She walked up to the third floor, hearing a noise. She walked towards the front, seeing a man with a black wife beater and blue jeans asleep in one of the seats, a Colt Python in his pants and a pair of handcuffs on his left arm. Rebecca raised her weapon and kicked the man, knocking him onto the floor.

" Ah shit. What the hell was that for?" the man yelled, turning to see Rebecca pointing her gun at him.

" What're you? A cop?" Billy asked.

" I'm an officer from the RPD S.T.A.R.S unit. Your under arrest." Rebecca said, keeping her weapon trained on the man.

" Let me guess. You work for that Enrico guy? I remember what happened. Every time he or one of his officers comes looking for me, I feel less and less guilty about what happened to him that night." Billy said.

" Yes. I'm supposed to arrest you." Rebecca said.

" Arrest? Me?" Billy asked, breaking out into laughter.

" Yes." Rebecca said, kicking Billy in the balls.

" You bitch." Billy said, holding his privates as he fell to the floor in pain.

" Come on. Get up." Rebecca said.

" Still. The last person who tried to arrest me was thrown out a four story window into a dog catcher's truck. Needed three dozen stitches from the wounds he suffered from those dobermans."

" I remember, that was Edward. Truth be told, we really don't want to arrest you, but until we do Enrico's gonna continue being crazy. Just last week he kicked Kevin down the stair after he and Forest were throwing paper airplanes at the officers in the boys crime department. Then a month ago he shot Forest when he forgot to get him a bunch of pictures of you to use as targets in the range. Then there was the incident immediately following what happened that night where Enrico belted a biker in the face with a bottle of brandy then threw him out the window, hitting Brad. The biker and his friends then proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him. Good thing Brad knows how to play dead. All those bikers are in jail now. Now that I think about it, who told Enrico you did that stuff to him?" Rebecca asked.

" It was my former CO. He was pissed that I beat him in beer pong earlier that night. He must have told your boss that I did that stuff to him to get back at me.

" Yeah. He used to be pretty funny. Now he's just obsessed with finding you and arresting or killing you. Possibly even both." Rebecca said.

" Makes sense. Anyways, since we're both up here, wanna play cards?" Billy asked.

" Sure, why not." Rebecca said. On the Alpha bus three hours later, Jill was sleeping against the window, snoring loudly. Chris and Joseph were talking about some of the weird cases they'd dealt with lately, such as the incident on John's street, where a woman was threatening her next door neighbor with a tabby cat with rabies. That same cat had then attacked Joseph and Edward, while the woman was subdued by the other officers at the scene. It had been twenty minutes before Jill and Rebecca arrived, pulling the cat off of the bloodied officers which purred in Jill's arms, hissing at the two male officers before her and Rebecca walked away. They also talked about the incident during a bank robbery where Chris went over to the Dunkin Donuts across the street for a coffee and doughnut, leaving Wesker and Frost to hold off a dozen children with super soakers and water balloons. Joseph laughed, remembering the punishment given to him by Wesker. Foot patrol in the red light district for a month. Chris remembered the therapy he needed after his punishment was over. He was the butt of everyone's jokes for weeks during and after the mandatory assignment. Barry was looking at his book of puns and snappy comebacks, occasionally reciting a certain phrase. Joseph was playing GTA: Liberty City Stories on his new PSP, killing cops with a 12 gauge shotgun. After being hit by a firing pin from Chris' new M24 as he was assembling it, Brad had locked himself in the bathroom located near the back of the bus on the bottom floor. Everyone felt the bus slow down, seeing a random road block manned by a group of hippies with various instruments.

" What's going on here?" Wesker said, stopping the bus in front of the road block.

" Hey man, your like, in front of our, like, beginning stage for our latest Woodstock concert. Can you please, like, go?" the lead hippie asked, readjusting his glasses.

" As an officer of the law, i'm asking you to please move your caravan out of the way so we can get through. Not too much of a request." Wesker asked, annoyed by the pointless interruptions he had to deal with.

" No way man. I know my rights. We're staying right here. When Woodstock's in full force, we'll protest the Umbrella products that are destroying the environment." the hippie said. Wesker's cellphone then went off, and he walked back near the bus, flipping it open.

" What is it? Don't you know I'm on duty?" Wesker asked.

" Wesker, this is Birkin."

" What to you want, Birkin? This better be important."

" I got a call from Spencer. He wants you to run your bus through the road block. If you don't he's revoking your access to the VIP break room." William said.

" He's not serious. Hang on, I have another call." Wesker said, hitting another button on his phone.

" What is it?" Wesker asked, beginning to get annoyed.

" I'm very serious Albert." was all Wesker heard. He disconnected the call and went back to talking to William.

" Tell him I'll do it. But the next time I go to the lounge, I want a new associate. Preferably Chinese wearing a red dress.

" I'll see what I can do." Will said, disconnecting the call.

" Who was that Wesker?" Jill asked, wiping off her drool stained shirt.

" Chief Irons. Get ready, it's going to get real bumpy shortly." Wesker said. The hippies looked at Wesker started the bus, backing up a sizable distance before putting the bus in drive.

" Hey man, you, like, can't do this!" The lead hippie said before diving out of the way. The occupants of the bus help onto their seats as they crashed through the roadblock and impromptu stage, watching the hippies scatter and drop their instruments and bongs. Once down the road, Wesker sighed in relief.

" Thank god that's over." Wesker said, shifting in his seat to relax.

" Wesker, are you sure chief Irons told you to run through that hippie stage." Jill asked

" Does it matter?"

" Eh, not really." She replied, sitting back down next to Chris, looking at the badge he's found in his case.

" Still wondering about that badge?" Jill asked.

" I don't even understand. I never joined the Bisexual Self-pitying Assumption Association." Chris said.

" Chris, it means Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance." Jill replied.

" No, I think it means Brooklyn Society for Annoying Assholes." Joseph chimed in, being hit by the butt of Chris' sniper rifle.

" Come on, it obviously means Blunderbuss Satinwood Anarchist Asylum." Barry inferred.

" That doesn't even make sense. You know what, forget you. I'm going to the back of the bus." Jill said, abruptly leaving Chris alone in his seat. The bus again stopped, before Wesker called everyone's attention.

" It appears that we've arrived at an abandoned factory. We're going to search it for any signs of activity that could be involved in the attack on Japan." Wesker said. Everyone grabbed their gear and proceeded through the front doors, leading to what appeared to be the main hall of a mansion.

" I propose we split up so we can get killed a lot more easily. Barry, I want you and Brad to take the west wing. Chris, you take the west wing. Jill and I will check upstairs. Joseph will stay on the bus and protect it from any hostiles. We all meet back here in 20 minutes."

" Oorah!" the other officers called out before proceeding to the areas they were assigned. Joseph stepped back onto the bus, sat in the driver's seat and pulled out his PSP, playing another game.

_Chris:_

" Nothing too strange." Chris said, walking past crates filled with AK-47s and bags of marijuana. Chris walked into a room, seeing what looked like a person feasting upon the entrails of another. Chris backed out of the room, locking it behind him.

" Man, people should lean how to lock the door if they do things like that." Chris said, walking past a box with several pouches of Cocaine sitting on top.

_Wesker: _

" Jill, come with me to this janitor closet, I want to show you my. . . " Wesker said, turning to see that Jill was nowhere in sight.

" Where'd she go now?" Wesker said, annoyed.

_Jill:_

" Eh heh heh, wrong room." Jill said, seeing a large snake staring straight at her, hissing.

_Barry & Brad:_

" Good thing we found the kitchen. I'm starved." Barry said, grabbing a document with 'food memo' written on it while Brad looked in the fridge.

" Do you think they'll mind if we eat some of their food?" Brad asked.

" Well considering they're only interested in human flesh now, I doubt it." He said, looking at a cooking memo, when a shadow went over them. He looked up, and dropped the memo. They saw a decaying monster limping towards them, pieces of flesh hanging off of it. It then said

" GRIMACE HUNGRY!"

" Run Brad!" Barry yelled, and fired two shots at the monster.

" It's a dead end." Brad said

" Dammit!" Barry yelled, firing another round at the undead, fast food mascot

_In a hidden room:_

A man hidden by the darkness of the room laughed maniacally.

" Look at them suffer. Time to release the zombie fries." the man said, pressing a button on a nearby control panel.

Brad and Barry:

" Barry." Brad said, when he turned his head around momentarily

" What the? Aw Fuck!" Barry said

" Fries." Brad said, as the sign at the dead end revealed several infected fries crawling out of it.

" Do something." Brad said

" I'm occupied." Barry said, firing more shots down the hall.

" Fine. It's clobbering time." Brad said, pulling out two AK-47s, and began firing wildly at the zombified fries.

Jill:

" So, come here often" Jill said, then fired one bullet at the ground, Scaring the snake away.

" I'm safe." She said, when a Raccoon jumped out from behind a box, attacking her.

Brad and Barry:

Brad was on the ground, the zombie fries clustering around them.

" Oh god, they got me, they got me." Brad said.

" NOW!" Tank, from the matrix, yelled. Brad busted out of the mob of zombie fries. He turned to the hole where fries were still coming from, and then yelled

"HADUKEN!" And fired a large blast of energy from his palms, destroying the wall and the fries. Barry stared in shock as the monster appeared right next to him, eating his gun.

" Nom. Nom Nom Nom. Hmm, tastes like pain."T-Grimace said.

" It ate your gun." Brad said.

" Don't worry, my gun's custom made so it came with a remote trigger." Barry said, and pulled out a device that resembled a detonator and pressed the button several times. The gun then went off inside the monster, blasting several holes in the monster that splattered brains, bone matter and blood over the walls. Barry grabbed his gun from the carcass, and wiped the blood off with a rag in his back pocket, which he discarded soon after.

In the hidden room:

" No! How can this be! Impossible! Both T-Grimace and the fries. Well. I suppose this just means I must use the ingredient then. He he he he he, yes. The secret ingredient." The man said. He pressed a button, and said

" Release T-burglar." The man said.

" Yes. Mastah." someone on the opposite side said.

Back on the Bravo bus, Rebecca was drained. Since she started playing cards with Billy, Edward, Richard and even Enrico had walked into the 2nd floor of the bus, scaring her each time.

" I've been wondering, how did someone like you become a cop, much less a member of S.T.A.R.S?" Billy asked.

_Flashback:_

" _I can't believe this. I can't believe the mayor told me to find a highschooler to recruit into S.T.A.R.S. It's a good thing I'm on the payroll of Umbrella. I get a nice fat paycheck every week, and i'm one of the most powerful men in the city. Were it not for that, I'd probably have shot the mayor already." Chief Irons thought to himself. He walked into the gym of the Raccoon City High School, seeing several girls playing basketball. He saw a girl wearing a red headband and short brown hair._

" _Excuse me. I'm Chief Irons from the Raccoon City. . . ." Iron's started__._

" _Oh my god, a pervert." the girl said, kicking the down on his luck police chief in the balls. Irons dropped to the floor, muttering countless obscenities under his breath._

" _I'm sorry. My name's Rebecca Chambers." Rebecca said, helping him to his feet._

" _It's okay. Ow. No harm done." Irons said._

" _Do you need help finding someone?" Rebecca asked._

" _Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to join the S.T.A.R.S unit of the RPD." Irons said._

" _Of course I would!" Rebecca exclaimed._

" _Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. I'm gonna have a lot of fun with this one." Irons thought as he brought Rebecca to the station._

_End Flashback:_

" And that's it." Rebecca said.

" I can't believe that. That guy sounds like such a pedophile." Billy said, as the door opened again, prompting him to hide under one of the seats.

" Rebecca, it's Kenneth. Come on, we all know Billy Coen isn't on the bus. Enrico's just going crazy. Come on back down, we're gonna play a game of poker." Kenneth said, walking back down.

" It'll be suspicious if I don't leave. I'll see you soon." Rebecca said, leaving the room.

" Man, that bastard is annoying the hell out of me." Billy said, finding a seat to sleep under out of view.

Back down on the first floor, Kenneth, Edwards, Forest and Rebecca were engaged in a game of poker. Edward was sitting in the seat nearby with a box full of rubber bands. He shot one towards the front, trying to wake up the sleeping Enrico, but he aimed too far to the left, hitting Kevin in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. The bus began to veer out of control, despite the now awakened Enrico trying to remove the unconscious Kevin from his seat. The group readied for impact, as the bus crashed through a wall and flipped onto it's side. Once everyone crawled out, Enrico helped everyone to their feet, seeing that they'd crashed into a factory of some sort.

" OK. I'm more than certain that Billy Coen is the perpetrator of this heinous act. I want you all to split up. He's not getting away this time." Enrico said. Everyone except Rebecca went through one of the doors in the room, waiting for everyone to leave to search for Billy. She saw a hand punch through one of the windows, seeing a slightly bruised Billy crawl out of the wreckage.

" Damn, what happened?" Billy said, rubbing his head.

" Edward shot a rubber band, knocking out Kevin who was driving. Then we crashed into this factory." Rebecca said.

" Come on, lets go. Maybe we'll find someone who can smuggle me out of the country." Billy said. Rebecca nodded and the two walked through the door Rebecca's teammates hadn't went through.

_Leon, Claire, Ada, Steve: _

" How do I get myself into these messes." Leon thought to himself. His morning had started out alright. He was about to enjoy the beginning of his week long vacation when he got a call that he was to go to Japan and aid the citizens and police against the monsters attacking the island nation. When Claire had found out that he'd be leaving she decided to join him. Unfortunately, Ada and Steve both joined him, leading to the four of them all going to Japan. Leon wasn't very fond of Ada, since she'd broken up with him for some guy named John or whatever, and he hated Steve since he'd annoyed him constantly and seemed to appear every time he met up with Claire somewhere. He only put up with them since they were both friends with Claire. It was also the massive bonus he'd be receiving that kept Leon from maiming or shooting Steve, especially since he'd taken the seat next to his, messing with the radio in his Honda Civic.

" Steve, TURN OFF THE FUCKING RADIO!" Leon yelled. Steve, who'd also been playing with a gold plated Luger, fired a round through the windshield and the hood. The car rolled to a stop as Leon pummeled Steve. Leon got out and opened the hood, seeing the damage the 9mm round has caused. He saw that the fuel line was severed and the the radiator had a hole in the side, where the slug was now floating.

" Grab your stuff everyone. Fuel line's cut and the radiator's shot." Leon said. He walked to the trunk, grabbed his suitcase and attache case. Claire, Ada, and the injured Steve all grabbed their items, and began walking down the road towards the closest city.

Chris:

"Hmm, this underground tunnel is rather suspicious." Chris said, when something broke down the door.

" I feel like eating some burgers, Dammit!" The monster said.

" Ugh?" Chris said, knowing he was ultimately screwed.

" Though you might need some help." Barry said, dropping in suddenly

" Me too." Jill said, popping up on his left.

" Oh for Fucks sake!" a man said, stepping out from behind the monster.

" I was going to have T-Burglar kill each of you off one at a time, but you all managed to regroup at the spur of the moment. Well, I suppose you'll just have to." the man said.

" Excuse me, Who're you?" Jill interjected, cutting the man off.

" What do you mean, who? I, am the mascot for one of the largest fast food companies in the world. " the man said.

" KFC?" Jill asked.

" What? No you idiot, McDonalds. And i'm Ronald McDonald!" Ronald said, laughing ecstatically.

" Um, guys, I have a feeling we're screwed." Chris said. Wesker then came from behind Ronald, holding his handgun at the fast food mascot's head.

" Call off your fiend, Ronald." Wesker commanded, pulling back the hammer on his weapon.

" You think threatening me was going to work?" Ronald retorted.

" Actually, I sort of was." Wesker said, as Ronald grabbed his arm and tossed him over his shoulder towards Chris and the others.

" Damn." Wesker said.

" Fool. I'm more powerful than you could ever imagine." Ronald said. Suddenly, all of Bravo team and Billy appeared.

" For Fuck's sake! Where all of you coming from?" Ronald commanded.

" Up yours, clown." Billy said, aiming his magnum at him.

" It's Coen!" Enrico said, firing several shots at him. The shots also flew past Ronald, who ducked through a doorway followed by T-Burglar. Enrico managed to knock Billy to the ground and began choking him. Seconds later, Rebecca jammed a needle into Enrico's neck, knocking the S.T.A.R.S captain unconscious.

" Those tranquilizers really do come in handy." Rebecca said.

" **Everyone run for your lives, this place will explode in 5 minutes." **A voice said over the intercom.

" Shit, everyone follow me." Wesker said. As they entered the main hall, they saw the Alpha team bus crash through the front door.

" Good work Frost." Wesker said as he quickly sat in the driver's seat. Moments later the bus was cruising down the road at high speeds, before the abandoned warehouse detonated, shaking the bus momentarily.

" What're we gonna do about Billy? If Enrico sees him when he wakes up, he's gonna go crazy again." Kenneth said.

" Mr. Coen. I want you to stay up on the second story of the bus while Enrico is on and try to avoid him when possible. Rebecca, I want you to watch Mr. Coen. Keep him company and make sure your captain doesn't find him." Wesker said.

" Sounds good to me." Billy said, grabbing some soda and a couple bags of chips. As soon as he walked up to the second floor, Enrico came to.

" Where's Coen?" Enrico said, holding the spot Rebecca had injected him.

" You freaked out and thought you saw him when we found Ronald. Your ok, but we had to tranq you to prevent you from harming one of us or yourself." Kenneth said.

" But I remember strangling him with my bare hands."

" That was Brad. You frightened him, he's still in the bathroom in the back." Chris said. It wasn't a complete lie, Brad was frightened by Enrico's attack on Billy.

" I guess we'll continue on as planned." Wesker said.

_Me: "Well. Those revisions seemed to have paid off. I'm getting back into the fling of things. Well Wesker, what do you think of the story thus far?"_

_Wesker: "I think that it is utter rubbish. It's got no point to it."_

_Me: -whacks Wesker over his head with a baseball bat- " That's the point, jackass. I apologize for his rude behavior. I hope that all of you enjoyed my revisions, and stay tuned for Chapter 2: Didn't See That One Coming._


	2. Chapter 2: Did not see that coming

_Yay, this is next on the revision chopping block. Also for those wonder, it says Albert Wesker & Yoko Suzuki because I did it to include characters A-Z. No pairing of that sort. Anyway, enjoy and remember the disclaimer. CAPCOM owns Resident Evil, Mercs is owned by whoever and so on and so forth._

_Chris: " Ow, what the hell is going on? Why am I not on the bus?"_

_Me: " I gave you a slight reprieve from that bus of insanity."_

_Chris: " Oh. Thanks. I guess."_

_Me: " No problem. Anyways, how have your adventures gone thus far?"_

_Chris: " Eh, could've been worse. I heard about what happened to Wesker. Must've hurt."_

_Me: " Yeah. He insulted me and the readers. So I re-educated him." -leans on bat-_

_Chris: " I see. Well, lets enjoy, shall we."_

_Me: " Chris, that's the smartest thing I think I've ever heard you say. On with the chapter!"_

Chapter 2: Did not see that coming.

" I can't believe this." Wesker muttered under his breath, low enough for no one to hear. After letting Kevin take the wheel, Wesker hoped he could get a bit of rest. Unfortunately, Enrico was sitting next to him, writing down new ways to kill Lieutenant Coen. He'd hoped Rebecca could've used another tranquilizer, but the chemical make up of the tranq becomes poisonous if too much is taken.

" See here. I'll hang him over a large fire, belly down as his skin slowly falls off his bones." Enrico beamed with delight. He went back to writing down more ways to torture his 'nemesis' as Wesker moved out of the seat, walking up to the second floor. He saw Rebecca, Billy and Kenneth talking while lounging on some of the seats.

" How are you doing, Coen?" Wesker asked.

" Ok, having people to talk to is nice. Though that Enrico guy is still pissing me off." Billy responded, popping a kink out of his neck.

" Why did you sneak aboard our bus?" Kenneth asked, playing around with his handgun.

" I overheard the lot of you being sent to Japan, and since the bastard who framed me is currently living there, I decided to sneak aboard to catch a ride there. I could find the son of a bitch, prove my innocence and get wasted in peace." Billy said, laying back in his seat. Kenneth saw Wesker walk towards the door, going back down while slamming the door behind him. Kenneth, startled by the noise, accidentally fired his weapon through the window above Billy, showering him in glass. Rebecca went over to check his wounds as Enrico barged in, gun at the ready.

" What happened? Was it Coen, did you see him?" Enrico asked, jumpy.

" Uh. . . Yeah. I thought I saw Coen. It turns out it was just a trick of the light. We'll keep an eye out for him, sir." Kenneth said with a salute. Enrico nodded and walked back down to the first floor.

" Better be careful from now on, don't want to give Enrico any reasons to come up here." Rebecca said, treating Billy's wounds caused by the glass shards. As the remnants of light faded, Wesker noticed something in a nearby bush and had Kevin stop the bus. Wesker walked out, gun drawn, to investigate. He saw the bushes move, and saw a grenade roll out onto the street.

" Fuck!" Wesker yelled as he ran back onto the bus. The grenade then began spewing red smoke, subsiding moments later. Wesker reluctantly stepped off the bus again, seeing the bushes rustle again. This time a boy around 12 came out of the bushes, spitting blood onto the pavement. Wesker walked closer with his weapon ready as the boy pulled out an AK-74M, stock folded, aiming the weapon at Wesker.

" Who are you, boy." Wesker commanded.

" Name's Dante, what about you, old man." Dante said, unfaltering.

" Albert Wesker, captain of the RPD S.T.A.R.S unit." Wesker replied. The boy lowered his weapon, placing it on his back.

" Now that the introductions are out of the way, could I hitch a ride with you guys to Japan?" Dante said. Wesker only gave him a strange look.

" You do realize that Japan is under siege by an as of yet unknown entity or entities, do you?" Wesker asked.

" Yeah, but I've always wanted to check out Japan, and whatever's attacking won't be able to stand up to me." Dante said, walking onto the bus.

" Hey, I didn't say you could get on." Wesker snapped.

" Doesn't matter, I'm coming and there's no arguing the matter." Dante said, sitting in one of the seats in the back.

" Kevin, get this thing moving and find us a place to stay the night." Wesker said. About an hour later, Kevin stopped the bus in the parking lot of a motel, purchasing four rooms. Jill and Rebecca took one of the smaller rooms, Chris, Billy, Joseph, Forest and Kenneth took one of the larger rooms. Wesker bunked with Edward, Kevin and, reluctantly, Brad. The final room had Barry, Enrico, Richard and Dante. When Chris left the room he was in to go to the bathroom, he noticed Dante sleeping in one of the tree branches of a large oak tree near the parking lot.

" Hey Dante what're you..." Chris started as he tripped on a tree root, making him fall into the tree, shaking it violently.

" Dammit Chris, what the hell are you doing?" Dante asked.

" I was wondering why you were up in the tree." Chris responded.

" Oh, that was because Barry was snoring too loudly, Enrico was muttering in his sleep new ways to torture Billy, and Richard seemed to be having a nightmare about being eaten by snakes and sharks." Dante said.

" Makes sense. Well I'll let you get back to sleep." Chris said. As he walked back into his room, he barely dodged a dart thrown at the dart board on the other side.

" It'd be nice of you idiots to not throw those things when someone walks through the door!" Chris yelled. They saw a boot fly from the doorway, hitting him straight in the back of the head. Seconds later Wesker walked through the door, grabbing the boot on the floor.

" Get him up, and get some sleep. We leave at 9:00am. Sharp." Wesker said, walking back to his room after slamming the door. The next morning everyone piled onto the bus, followed by Chris who was holding his head where Wesker struck him with his steel toed boot.

" Our first stop is Chicago to stock up on supplies. We can't be sure if there are more people like Ronald trying to stop us from saving Japan." Wesker said, racking the slide of his handgun. The bus stopped in the middle of a parking lot, running over Justin Bieber and a group of his fangirls on the way in.

" Enrico, take Kenneth, Forest and Edward and look around for a grocery store and an auto parts store. Chris, you, me and Jill will look around for a local gunshop for more supplies. Barry, you, Dante, Joseph, and Kevin go to the mall to look for anything else we may need. Rebecca, Richard and Brad will stay here." Wesker said, as the officers and 12 year old boy went with their respective groups to their destinations.

" Billy, come on down. Enrico's gone." Rebecca said, seconds later hearing the door to the 2nd floor of the bus open and shut.

" Thank god. I thought he was never gonna leave." Billy said, giving a quick glance out the window before starting to talk.

_Castle such and such:_

" Alfred, enough. You're giving me a headache." Alexia Ashford said. After, reluctantly, agreeing to join an anonymous person for a conference, she'd had to deal with the others in attendance, James Marcus, Sergei Vladimir, Osmund Saddler, Morpheus Duvall, Nikolai Ginovaef, Excella Gionne and Vincent Goldman. After 3 days of waiting around in a dimly lit conference room, she was close to loosing her patience, skillfully built up over the last 15 years in cryostasis. Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a large silhouette of a man towering in the doorway. The lights finally flickered on, revealing a sickly looking man in a night robe in a wheelchair attached to various machines that were barely keeping him alive.

" Hold on a minute. I wait three days. THREE DAYS!, and this is what we are rewarded for our patience? A man who's barely alive and escorted by a lowly thug?" Alexia said.

" Desmond, restrain her." Spencer said.

" As you wish, master." The man named Desmond said with a Russian accent. He began to walk towards Alexia, disappearing before reappearing behind her in an instant, forcefully grabbed her by her jewel encrusted choker before dropping her back into her seat.

" Thank you. Now, I apologize for my absence, but now we can get to business. I called you all here because you are the greatest assets to my company, Umbrella Incorporated. As you know, strange beings have begun to attack the citizens of Japan. These beings are called Espers. They're being controlled by the follower an ancient Japanese Emperor who was by an opponent to his rule. In ancient legend, Ashikaga Yoshisado was a samurai of honor, who was widely thought to have died in battle protecting his Emperor. He, however, protected the man only to one day try to eliminate him and take the throne for himself. He, in truth, turned to Japanese black magic to aid him in his struggle, but the act ended up robbing him of his humanity. He became a demonic entity, taking on the name of Senshi sagi no, or Warrior of Deception. He was eventually defeated and sealed away by a famous samurai who entrapped him in a Jade Statue of his former Emperor. The dark samurai could only be released by the blood of a virgin woman. Six days ago, a woman working at a museum in Hokkaido was shot to death by a man trying to steal artifacts from the exhibits. The woman's blood touched the statue, allowing Ashikaga to return to the mortal realm. He plans to first reclaim Japan, then conquer the rest of the world. His knowledge of the black arts have discovered a way to become immortal, as well as gaining near god-like powers. I want to obtain these powers to regain my youth and continue to terrorize American hippies for many thousands of years to come. Your parts in this are to aid me in discovering this secret and eliminating this man. When we succeed, I will allow all of you to discover this secret and join me in my utopia." Spencer said.

" Is it certain that this Ashikaga knows the secret?" Alexia asked.

" I am certain. We will need to utilize every one of our resources in order to realize this goal. It will take the combined forces of Umbrella, TriCell and the Los Illuminados. Do we have an agreement?"

" You have mine and my brother's support." Alexia said, smirking.

" The Los Illuminados will gladly aid you in your cause, Mr Spencer." Saddler replied, tightening and loosening his grip on his ceremonial staff.

" TriCell will provide the supplies you need, at a reasonable price." Excella said.

" Your loyal employees will assist you, Lord Spencer." Sergei said, as he and the other Umbrella employees gave the sickly man a salute.

" Good. Alexia, have you brother mobilize his forces to stop anyone from trying to enter Japan. I also want some of your more competent forces to combat these individuals." Spencer said, having Desmond lower a screen, showing the pictures of the S.T.A.R.S members and Leon's group.

" They've been mobilized to help in the protection of Japan. Do not let them leave the country. I would also like to point out this one in particular." Spencer said, the screen now showing a boy holding an AK-74M and an Ice Cream cone standing in front of a bullet ridden Ice Cream truck.

" He's known only as Dante. I want him brought to me, alive."

" Lord Spencer, I suggest we gather more allies to further assist us in our goal. The more help we have in this, the better." Alexia said.

" An excellent point you have there, Alexia. I shall leave that to you. Make yourselves at home. All I ask is that you do not try to enter any rooms in the basement without Desmond or another of my personal staff accompanying you." Spencer said as Desmond opened the door to allow him to leave the room.

_Chicago, Illinois – Office Building:_

" Uh, my head. What the hell happened here." The man said, dusting off his green hoodie as he got to his feet. He started to look around, noticing the bullet ridden bodies and discarded shell casings. He grabbed one of the weapons on the floor, an H&K USP, and placed it into his left pocket. He walked through a door, seeing more bodies laying on the staircase. He walked down, stepping over the bodies, and walked out the front door, covered with police tape. Before the man could decide what to do next, two children, a boy and girl, got out of a nearby mini-van, running over to the confused man.

" Ark, your back!" The kids called, hugging him.

" Ark? Who's that?" The man asked.

" You must've hit your head again. Your name's Ark. Ark Thompson." the boy said.

" Can you remember anything? I'm Lily. This is my brother, Lott." Lily said.

" Ark? I think I remember. I keep thinking about a place called Japan though." Ark said, scratching his head.

" Japan? It's an Island country far to the West. You kept talking about it before we got here." Lott said.

" Maybe we should go, relax a bit. Maybe it'll help me remember what I was doing."

" Sounds like a good idea." Lily said as the three went to the van. Before they left, a man with dirty blonde hair wearing a navy blue T-shirt and jeans and an Asian woman wearing a white T-shirt with black jeans walked up to them.

" Hey, I couldn't help but overhear that you were heading to Japan. I was wondering if you could let us join you guys." The man said, absentmindedly rubbing his stubble.

" Sure, why not." Ark said.

" Thanks. The name's Bruce. Bruce McGivern. This here's my girlfriend, Fong Ling."

" Don't mention it. My name's Ark. These are. . . ." Ark started, forgetting the names of the children.

" Lily and Lott. He's a little tired. Had to work late." Lott said, covering for the fact that he was once again amnesic.

" Lets go." Ark said, slamming his foot down on the gas, sending the van careening down the road, blatantly ignoring the speed limit of 55 mile per hour.

_Leon & Company:_

" Finally. We've made it. Chicago." Leon said.

" I heard the hobos are viscous around these parts." Steve said, mostly healed after his beating at the hands of an irate Leon. That was the first thing he'd said since they'd started walking. Leon decided to pass the time by listening to an MP3 player. They walked down the sidewalk, going into a nearby convenience store, seeing a man in a black cloak with a purple cloth covering his nose and mouth.

" Greetings, strangers. What're you buying?" the clerk asked.

" Two six packs of mountain dew, and 4 large bags of peanut butter M&M's." Leon said. He took out his wallet, tossed the clerk a small wad of bills, then grabbed the food items.

" Heh heh, come back any time." The clerk said with a raspy laugh. They quickly walked back outside, enjoying some of the snacks they'd purchased. They then noticed a kid about twelve walking down the road, wearing a black trench coat with a bag of weapons on his back. Before they could brush it off, a group of people in leather jackets came out the alleyway he'd just passed, holding chains, lead pipes, beer bottles, switchblades and even revolvers.

" Hey kid, come here. Don't you know it's dangerous to be out alone. Come with us. We'll get you home. The leader said, holding a snub nose Colt Python.

" Buzz off, ya stupid prick." the boy retorted, continuing to walk down the street.

" Why you little punk!" One of the other thugs yelled, swinging his chain at him. The boy held up his arm, having the chain wrap around it.

" Gotcha!" The thug said, pulling on the chain. The boy sighed, and yanked the chain, pulling the man from his spot through the air next to him, punching him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

" Get him boys." The leader yelled, cocking back the hammer on his revolver. The kid pulled a pair of Colt .45s from inside his trench coat, shooting two of the gun wielding thugs. He kicked another in the face before shooting one with a switchblade in the foot. He put his guns away, tripping one of the many thugs into a wall.

" I think he might need help." Claire said.

" I dunno, he seems to be handling everything pretty well himself."

" Leon." Claire responded sternly.

" Fine." Leon said, taking out his custom handgun the Silver Ghost. Ada and Claire drew Browning Hi-Power's and Steve wielded akimbo lugers. They shot down the small group of thugs, making those who survived the attack run in fear.

" You ok, kid?" Leon asked.

" Yeah." The kid replied, reloading his colts.

" What's your name?" Claire asked.

" Dante."

" I think I might've heard that name before." Ada said, pondering.

" Dunno." Dante replied.

" What're you doing out here?" Steve asked.

" Well, I was with some friends and we were heading to the mall to gather some supplies. Some idiot in a mini van almost ran us over and when I turned around, they were gone." Dante explained.

" So you lost them?" Claire asked.

" Ya. Hopefully they're already at the mall. Unfortunately I don't know where it is." Dante said.

" Uh, I think it's right over there." Leon said, pointing across the street a short distance down the road where the sign for the mall was.

" Oh. I knew that." Dante said.

" Sure you did." Steve replied, only to be sweep kicked, knocking him on his rear.

" Nice job, kid." Leon said. From the top of a large building near the mall, a pair of people wearing military gear and metal masks with a fire design on one and scar like carvings on the other were watching the group.

" Hey Alice, you sure this kid is who they're looking for?" The one with the flame streaks on his mask asked.

" Yes Salem. Rios, keep an eye on them. Remember, your not the only one looking for him and he's to be taken alive." Alice said.

" Roger Alice, out." Rios said.

" So, are we really gonna go through with this?" He added.

" We need the cash and whoever's looking for this kid obviously knows he isn't normal." Salem said.

" You better be right." Rios said, going back to looking through his binoculars. On another building adjacent to one the TWO operatives were camping at, a man with a Mohawk looking through the scope of a Barrett M95 sniper rifle.

" Fiona, target in sight. He's heading into the mall." The man said.

" Be careful Mattias. I'm more than certain that there are more that just you, Chris and Jennifer looking for him. Not to mention the target himself is probably going to be a handful, especially since he's to be taken alive." Fiona said.

" Roger. If I spot any of them they'll have traveled a long way to die." Mattias said, grabbing his sniper and heading to the stairwell."

_Me: " Well this was a well deserved revision. New players are added to the mix, and things are freaking crazy. Ah, I love the smell of insanity in the afternoon."_

_Chris: " I have a feeling that a lot of people think you're insane."_

_Me: " Well, I don't hear you complaining."_

_Chris: -muttering- " Out loud."_

_Me: " Well, keep an eye out for the revised chapter 3, Mercs, Malls and More."_


	3. Chapter 3: Mercs, Malls and More

_Me: "Once again, I have returned to mess with the minds of the most, or least, brilliant people in society." _

_Billy: "Whoa, did someone get the license plate number off that truck?"_

_Me: "Billy, you ok? Your in my office right now. Just sit back and relax."_

_Billy: "Please tell me your not in league with that bastard Enrico."_

_Me: "As enjoyable as it would be to mind rape you like that, I'm not affiliated with him. So, how has your experience up to this point been._

_Billy: "Well, lets see. All that shit with Enrico, getting captured by that one dude wearing panties tell me 'It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again' and the incident involving a ninja stripper at a bachelorette party. And now that fact that I'm stuck on a bus with the person that's trying to kill me and a bunch of his dumb ass friends."_

_Me: " Sounds fun. Can't wait until I send you back now."_

_Billy: "Please don't send me back there, I beg you!"_

_Me: -mockingly- "I beg you, I beg you. What is with people begging for things all the time. We're people, not dogs. Anyways, time for the chapter. Enjoy."_

Chapter 3: Mercs, Malls & More.

_Castle such and such:_

" Lord Spencer, I spent the past several hours searching for several different groups and organizations that would be willing to assist us, and I have discovered the following." Alexia said, motioning to the people next to her.

" I am Ramon Solano. This is my top General, Carlos Carmona. We received a call from Ms. Ashford about your situation, and your impressive resources could assist me in expanding my influence beyond Venezuela." The Venezuelan man said, shaking the business mogul's hand.

" I am the Legionnaire. I know that you have hired my operatives in the past, and that in your current predicament, we would both benefit greatly from our partnership." The man said, giving Spencer a salute.

" I'm Richard Dalton. I've assisted my Venezuelan friend in arranging a bounty upon the head of that young boy you've been looking for. I've specified that he's to be taken alive, and the operatives I have tracking him are some of the best. If you need anymore reassurance, I can easily have my associate here, Phillip Clyde, pursue him as well."

" I'm impressed Alexia. These men will be fine additions to my plan.

" I'm not yet finished, Spencer." Alexia said. They went into the board room, seeing several more people in attendance.

" I have exhausted my options and found the following. First, Arkady Kirilenko, Vladimir Makarov, and Imran Zakhaev from the Russian Ultra-Nationalist group." Alexia said, referring to a bald man in a military uniform, a younger man in a business suit, and a man in his mid 50's with only his right arm.

" When Kirilenko informed me of the communication from our old friend Sergei at the request of you and Ms. Ashford, I deemed that our alliance would be beneficial to my cause as well as yours. We are honored to assist a magnificent man such as you." The one armed Russian proclaimed.

" And here we have the evil genius, Dr Evil. Dr Evil has developed several super weapons and pioneered state of the art technology.

" I was actually inspired by your actions, Lord Spencer. Your brutal tactics have been an inspiration for me and my cohorts." Dr. Evil said, feeding his clone sitting on the table chocolate.

" I learned from a good friend of my idiot brother, of a race of subterranean creatures know as the locust horde. They're humanoid beings that are more durable than a human being and take orders from their queen without question. Their queen, in return for a reasonable piece of land above ground, have agreed to assist us. Finally, we received a coded message from someone only known as President Shinra of the Shinra power company, who told us that the Shinra company would provide several technological and biological assets. I'm unsure as to his loyalty, but he has already sent some of the promised supplies, as well as his special intelligence operatives. They're referred to as the Turks, and their leader is a man named Tseng." Alexia said.

" This is good. Listen up, I want all of you to send a protection force to combat the Espers, and to report any exceptionally strange activity to me immediately." Spencer said.

" Yes Lord Spencer." The people in the room responded. Alexia then walked out of the room to find her brother, sitting in his room looking over some financial reports.

" Alfred, I want you to mobilize a sizable amount of your forces and send them to Japan immediately. I also want some of your more skilled forces to confront the S.T.A.R.S and any other foreign influences and dissuade them from interfering." Alexia said.

" Right away, Alexia!" Alfred beamed, springing up from the desk in the room to his telephone.

" Hello? Ah, General Nemesis. I need you to deploy a large force to Japan under orders from my sister and Lord Spencer. I also need you to send some soldiers to combat the RPD S.T.A.R.S. You are to do anything necessary to stop them, but you must keep them away for at least three weeks." Alfred said.

" STARS (Yes sir)" General Nemesis responded, re appropriating his Napoleon era captain hat. He turned and in the space of a few hours, had several boats and helicopters filled with U.S.S soldiers, zombies, various Umbrella B., several Ganados and Majini and verdugo cannon balls. Nemesis went to his flag ship, the S.S. Spencer Rain, and prepared his fleet of 7 ships to set sail.

_Chicago – Dante's group:_

" So, what're you names?" Dante asked as they walked down the street.

" I'm Leon Scott Kennedy. I'm an agent of the US government, working directly under the president. I was sent by the president to assist the citizens of Japan in the wake of all this insanity. We got as far as Indianapolis when dumb ass here put a bullet through my radiator and fuel line." Leon said, jerking his hand at Steve.

" Hey!" Steve retorted, scowling.

" Claire Redfield. My brother's a member of the RPD S.T.A.R.S in Raccoon City." Claire said.

" I know Chris. The S.T.A.R.S are all in Chicago right now. They've been sent to Japan also. I hitched a ride with them since I got stuck without a ride." Dante said.

" Really? I haven't seen my brother in a long time. Since I live out of state I don't get to see him as often as I like. When Leon told me that he'd been reassigned I decided that he could use some help as well as some company." Claire continued,

" I'm Ada Wong. Like Claire I decided to help Leon. We used to date so he knows that he can trust me to a degree." Ada said. Dante knew she wasn't revealing the whole story.

" I'm Steve Burnside. I'm here to hang out with Claire and kick some ass." Steve said. Dante shook his head in disbelief.

" Man, he's a nutcase." He thought. Dante then noticed the mall just a short distance down the road.

" Finally, I've made it to the mall. Leon, since Steve fucked up your car, would you be able to obtain another vehicle at a dealership?" Dante asked.

" Yeah. Since I work for the president I can easily make a few calls to get me a decent sized car for a good price." Leon said.

" Good. We'll be in the mall or, if we get everything we need beforehand, at the parking lot a few blocks from here. Sound good?" Dante asked. Leon nodded and they walked into the mall. Once inside the mall, Dante noticed a weapons shop and told the others to get what they needed while he purchased some new weapons. He returned to the food court and sat on the nearby fountain, where they agreed to meet when they were done, an hour later with several boxes of ammunition, an HK416 assault rifle, an Accuracy International Arctic Warfare Super Magnum sniper rifle, an Smith & Wesson Model 500 magnum revolver and an MP7A1 personal defense weapon. Minutes later he saw Claire and the others return, several bags filled with various items. They noticed Dante looking over some of his new weapons and sat down next to him in front of the water fountain.

" Ah, I love Chicago." Dante said. As he put the weapon he was looking at back into his backpack, Dante spotted Barry at a subway with a large bag filled with what he assumed to be sandwiches. He was closely flanked by Joesph and Kenneth, both with several bag filled with essential items.

" Hey! Barry!" Dante called. Barry walked over to him when a shot rang out, hitting the window of a shop front right in front of them. Dante turned to the window, seeing a dart of some sort sticking in it.

" Knock out dart. Clever." Dante said, grabbing his newly purchased MP7. He then noticed a pair of men wearing body armor and metal masks running up with assault rifles.

" Hold it right there, kid." The larger figure said, holding a Steyr AUG on him.

" Watch it, Rios. He's dangerous, remember." The other figure said, holding an M4A1 carbine.

" Do you two know what your doing?" Dante asked.

" Of course. We're collecting the bounty on your head, simple as that."

" So it appears that I've become quite popular. I hate to break it to you, but I'm not going with you willingly." Dante said, firing several rounds from his weapon, causing the mercenaries to scramble for cover, Dante tossed a smoke grenade and ran towards the exit, quickly followed by Leon, Barry and the others.

" Shit, Salem, he's getting away." Rios said, firing another dart from his dart rifle. The dart grazed past the boy's arm, hitting an old woman in the abdomen.

" You missed. Come on, we're gonna lose them at this rate." Salem said as the both of them ran in pursuit of their target. Dante and the others proceeded up the street towards the parking lot when another shot rang out, blowing a fist sized hole in the building in front of them. Seconds later they saw a man with a Mohawk holding a smoking sniper rifle.

" What now. Who the hell are you?" Dante asked, annoyed.

" Mattias Nilsson. I'm here to collect that bounty." Mattias said, walking closer. He went to punch Dante in the stomach to knock him out but was stopped by Dante grabbing the punch before it could connect. He pushed Mattias back a few steps, while the mercenaries from earlier came onto the scene. Mattias drew a Sig P220 and aimed it at the two, while aiming his backup at Dante.

" That's far enough." Mattias replied.

" The kid's coming with us." Salem said, he and Rios both aiming their weapons at Mattias.

" It seems we've reached an impasse. Now, I'm going to take the kid and go." Mattias said.

" Mattias, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he's gone." Fiona said over the mic.

" What?" Mattias said, turning to see that Dante and the others were already gone.

" You dumb ass, you let him get away." Salem said, firing several rounds from his assault rifle. Mattias rolled and tossed a grenade at them, prompting them to find cover. After the resulting explosion, Rios and Salem decided to get back to their vehicle and once again attempt to find the boy. In a nearby storefront, a man who witnessed the entire event eyed the cellphone in his hand.

" Those women. Ever since Mary, every woman I see makes me so angry. I think I know my purpose now. To kill these women. Though from what I can see it isn't going to be easy. The women themselves seem to be tricky, and the men with them appear to be well armed. The main obstacle appears to be that boy. Though he's being tracked by mercenaries. Perhaps I could enlist their help. I have quite a lot of money, and mercenaries and money go well together. Perfect. Now, to call in someone for assistance." The man said. He picked up his cellphone and dialed a number. Moments later it picked up an heard three taps.

" Good, its you. I have a job for you. There are some women I've seen, and I need their men out of the way first. Can you handle it?" The man said. He heard one click.

" Good. They're in Chicago right now. From what I've seen they're heading for a parking lot. Since there happens to be a lot of them, I suspect they may have a bus or other large capacity vehicle. I will call you back when I have more details." The man said, shutting off the phone.

" Those women will be the first of many to know the true nature of James Sunderland. And perhaps if I'm lucky, I may be able to find even more woman to kill. I'm going to enjoy this very much." The man said. He walked outside, brushing the dust from the counter he'd been leaning on off of his green jacket and blue jeans. He walked across the street to where his vehicle, a black '04 Honda Civic, was. He got inside and started the engine, driving to where the women he'd seen had run off to.

_Chicago – Wesker's Group:_

After searching for a weapons store for two hours, Wesker noticed a gun shop a block down the road.

" Chris, Jill, over here." Wesker said, leading them to a shop named 'Merchant's Gun Shop' with a large replica of a Colt Python above the door. Inside they saw a man in front of a counter adorned with two large torches with blue fire and a cash register.

" Excuse me, sir. Could we see some of your inventory for sale?" Wesker asked. He motioned for the three officers to follow them into the back. The back room contained hundreds of firearms of all shapes, sizes and types. Along with the weapons were assorted parts, accessories and boxes of various types of ammunition. After purchasing everything they thought they would need, they paid the merchant and left the store with three large crates of weapons and ammo. While they were walking back to the bus, they noticed a group of people in gas masks firing MP5s at a bunch of zombified fries and hamburgers.

" Good thing we aren't going to be here much longer. This place is more messed up than Raccoon City." Chris said.

_Chicago – Enrico's group:_

" Kevin, Forest, Edward, get moving. We have to get back soon." Enrico said. In truth, he wanted to look over his most recent additions to his ever expanding list of ways to kill the former lieutenant. They suddenly noticed a group of 8 people near them, one of them wearing an RPD Select Police Force uniform. Kevin looked at the man and he beamed.

" Hey, Ryman!" Kevin called. The man in the S.P.F uniform turned and waved before walking over with his group.

" Hey Dooley, how's it hanging?" Kevin Ryman asked. Kevin was a member of the Raccoon Police Department's select police force. He tried and failed the S.T.A.R.S entrance exam 23 times, though his temper and occasional alcoholic rampages worked against him.

" Fine." Dooley replied.

" Hey Ryman. What're you doing out here?" Enrico asked.

" Chief Irons received further instructions to send me and the others in my group. Everyone in the group has special skills that are needed over in Japan." Ryman answered.

" Ryman, how long are we gonna be here." Yoko said in a subtly seductive tone. The others knew that she had a thing for Kevin, but she was having trouble with Ryman's crush on the rookie S.T.A.R.S member Rebecca. She used her charm every chance she got, though with less than favorable results.

" We won't be long. We almost have everything we need." Ryman replied.

" Ryman, we'll be along once everyone gets back to the bus. Hope to see you in Japan." Forest said as he and the other S.T.A.R.S members walked back towards the bus.

" Come on everyone, we need to get moving. The more time we waste the more danger the Japanese have to deal with." Kevin said, as they proceeded to the next store on their list, setting fire to a cardboard box inhabited by a small group of hobos.

_Chicago – Bus Group:_

" Man, this is the most relaxation I've enjoyed in months." Billy said, lounging in one of the seats. They were watching the TV they bought from a nearby store, watching an old war movie.

" It's good to relax every once and a while. I guess all we can do for now is enjoy the situation. Once we get to Japan we won't be able to relax." Rebecca said. Richard, who was the lookout in case Enrico's group arrived back first, noticed Barry's group and four other people he didn't recognize run up to the bus.

" Hey Barry, who're those people that are with you." Richard asked.

" I don't know the men or the Asian woman, but you should remember her." Barry said, pointing at Claire.

" Oh, hi Claire." Richard said. He would never openly admit it, but he had a slight crush and Chris' sister. Richard knew though that if he were to try and pursue a relationship with Claire, Chris would kill him without a second thought.

" Chris may be a bit slow, but he's very protective of his sister. He'd seen photos of the last person Chris had seen put the moves on his sister. The man was in the ICU for 14 months as he healed from several compound fractures to the ribs, pelvis and skull as well as three bullet wounds to the stomach.

" Well, The dude in the bomber jacket is Leon, he's a secret service agent who's also being sent to Japan. The Asian woman's name is Ada Wong, and the ginger over here is Steve Burnside. Claire and these two are friends of Leon and came along to help him. As for why your wondering why we hauled ass to get here so fast, was that I'm apparently on someone's most wanted list. Three mercenaries. Two were from Trans-World Operations, a mercenary outfit started up a few years ago, then a former Ex-Ops operative by name of Mattias Nilsson. I have a feeling that someone really doesn't want me to go to Japan." Dante said.

" Hey Dante, how'd you know who those guys were?" Claire asked.

" I've done my research. This isn't the first time someone's tried to kill me. Just the first time a bounty's been involved. As the wise always say, knowledge often leads to power, or at least a quicker escape." Dante replied.

" He makes a good point." Ada agreed.

" Well, hopefully everyone gets here soon. The more time we waste here the more time the people of japan suffer." Rebecca said. Moments later they noticed Wesker, Chris and Jill walking up the road with large crates with 'weapons' stamped on them. Seconds later they opened the crates, revealing to those inside dozens of handguns, shotguns, sniper rifles, assault rifles, sub machine guns, light machine guns and even much larger munitions such as grenades, mortars and rocket launchers.

" I love Chicago." Dante said, going outside to help load the weapons onto the bus. They also soon noticed Enrico's group, which forced Billy to hide on the 2nd floor. Wesker did manage to persuade Enrico to take a break while he and the others loaded up the other supplies. Once they were finished, they saw Leon drive next to the bus in an olive drab colored military Humvee. It seated four and had a top mounted Browning M2 machine gun.

" Leon, I have one, very good question. Where the hell did you get this thing?" Dante asked.

" Lets just say being a government agent has its perks." Leon said. Claire and the others from Leon's group quickly loaded everything into the Humvee while they made sure everyone on the S.T.A.R.S bus was prepared.

" Leon, We're going to Los Angeles to board a river barge. It'd be wise if you joined us." Wesker said.

" Got it. Buckle up everyone, we're headed to Hollywood." Leon said.

" Hollywood? Cool. Are we gonna meet Britney Spears, or J. Lo?" Steve beamed. This time they somehow managed to get Steve to take the back seat, while Ada and Claire had a deal to routinely switch seats. Before they could get moving, a black mini-van crashed into the telephone pole in front of them.

" Damn. I knew I should've fixed the parking brake." Someone inside the car said. Seconds later two children, a man in a green hoodie, a man in a navy blue t-shirt and an Asian woman crawled out of the wreckage of the mini-van.

" Well, we're not going anywhere in that thing now." Bruce said as they turned to face the bus they'd cut off.

" Maybe they'll give us a ride." Ark said. He knocked on the door.

" Hello, we were wondering, could you take us to Japan?" He asked.

" Why are you headed to Japan?" Wesker asked.

" Um, the last thing I could remember was that someone in a black suit told me to go to Japan to find someone. I forget who though." Ark replied.

" How about you two?" Wesker asked Bruce and Fong Ling.

" We're improving relations between the US and China by taking part in a joint operation in Japan." Bruce explained.

" Hang on, I think I remember something." Ark said. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a piece of paper.

" Ark Thompson. Your mission is to travel to Japan and discover the cause of the disturbance." Ark read off of his paper.

" Since it seems we're heading to the same place for similar reasons, we can make room for you." Wesker said. Minutes later the bus and Humvee were down the road bound for the highway.

_Umbrella Fleet – Hawaii:_

" STARS! (Full speed ahead)" General Nemesis said as his fleet of ships rounded the outside of Oahu, the third largest island of Hawaii. Nemesis heard the ship's phone ring and quickly proceeded to walk over and answer it, knocking a group of zombies into the water where they were summarily devoured by the zombie sharks following the ships.

" STARS! (Yes, Lord Ashford)"

" Nemesis, our satellites are showing that the S.T.A.R.S and US government operatives are now leaving Chicago via the interstate highway. If our estimations are correct, in the next three days they will arrive in Los Angeles. Your to land at the Port of Los Angeles and set up a defense to prevent them from getting sea borne. Failure to do so may prompt Lord Spencer to destroy your fleet with out satellite laser system. Again, stall the S.T.A.R.S and government agents from becoming sea borne for as long as possible." Alfred said.

" STARS! (Roger, sir.)" Nemesis said, hanging up the phone.

" STARS!" ( Pick up the pace, we can't waste time.)" Nemesis said to the crew.

" Sir, if I may. Should we make sure our forces are ready to deploy the moment we reach land?" General Nemesis' second in command, Mimicry Marcus, suggested.

" STARS (Yes. We're about 2000 miles from the coast and closing quickly. If we keep this pace we can make it to the port by tomorrow afternoon.)" Nemesis said.

" Yes sir." Mimicry Marcus replied.

_Me: " It appears the S.T.A.R.S and the others are finally moving out of Chicago."_

_Billy: " That was so amazing. To actually have some time away from Enrico. Your pretty cool. I don't understand why Wesker doesn't like you."_

_Me: " Yeah, that's pretty funny." -holds bat behind back- " Anyways, keep an eye open for my next guest and Chapter 4: Hell's Highway. Remember to read and review."_


End file.
